Messin' me up, my whole head

Jan 17

Change

For someone who is extremely indecisive, impatient and gets bored easily, I ~~hate~~ strongly dislike ‘change’. But I’ve heard it’s progressive—highly imperative. So, I’ve got plans, new ideas and I’m taking them and running with them. And I wish I could say ‘and never looking back’ but let’s not kid ourselves here, I’m still me. But I’m working on it.

“Finding new ways to love myself and be happier today, twice as much as I was yesterday”

Oct 14

Looking back @ my old performances.

It amazes me how much changes with time—without realization. I was coming from such a different place, a less than satisfactory life. Back then, I wrote with a lot of hurt and confusion and bitterness. I was completely lost in trying to find textbook definitions of ‘true love’ and ‘happiness’. I started taking the little miracles for granted and focusing on the negatives. I don’t feel like this anymore. My life was not going the way I wanted so I made some changes. I second guess myself sometimes but I believe I’m past the phase of bitterness and continuous negativity. I mean, sure I still get a little down but I’m beginning to find comfort and happiness in the most minuscule things. I’m a lot happier with my relationships; be it family, friends and most especially, my boyfriend. I’m learning to love life and truly love myself. That’s where it all starts really; love. I set out looking for love and I found myself in love with the woman I’ve grown to become as well as my passion for self-improvement and positivity. I’m in love with love and I’m content.

Now if I could just start writing (as often as I used to) again…

Sep 26

I had an epiphany last night.

This whole year has been such a roller coaster of events/emotions—cliche, but true. Last night, I realized that one of the biggest reasons why I’ve spent the better half of the year being disappointed/sad/lonely is because I’ve been depending on other people for my happiness. I’ve been making rash decisions based on other people instead of what I want or what’s best for me. I’ve basically put totally control of my emotional welfare in the hands of those I “love”. And until I cut this shit out my highs and lows and going to be too inconsistent to deal with and I just might loose it.

I think I finally made a decision entirely based on what I want last night; and my God, it felt good. And even if things don’t work out, there’s no room to be bitter because I’ll know it was a decision I made entirely on my own.

Messin' me up, my whole head

Recovering undercover overlover. Wine, art, cooking & A Tribe Called Quest enthusiast. My poetry blog Twitter

Change

Recovering undercover overlover. Wine, art, cooking & A Tribe Called Quest enthusiast.

My poetry blog
Twitter